Friday, May 11, 2012
I don't like it
Commiss consult today was… Ugh. The more I think about it, the more frustrated I feel. Just… Ugh.
I can't believe during consult I actually remarked “I'm sorry, are you very exasperated?” what the fuck was I thinking.
And then I realized how half-assed I am this semester towards almost everything oh God it's like I'm doing everything to just get by. What the fuck is wrong with me? Sure I'm leaving sure I don't have to put in a 100 per cent but all this just makes me feel like the worst person ever. Inherently I know I'm not a lazy person but what was said about me today was nothing short of the truth either.
I don't even know what to think.
Why am I such a disappointment to myself and everyone around me I hate failing to meet what is expected of me.
And then I can't even leave things aside and focus on dance I felt so happy in class but the end of it made me realize what a failure I've been. (On a side note: Today's song was also Too Grown For That by Tamia - it's a continuation of last week's choreo)
I shall return home and eat and sulk.
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