So I don't really know who would be interested in my mundane life. |
I am extremely self-absorbed, NOT because I'm deeply in love with my own personality. In fact I think people around me who know me well enough would know that my self esteem is not quite there. |
As some of you should know, I'm a huge fan of Sharon Au. I remembered her vibrant and cheery personality as a host on City Beat years and years ago when I was a kid. I didn't really understand the content and what they were talking about but I laughed anyway.Sharon Au Subsequently, she decided to put her media career on hold and pursue her university education at Waseda University (which, my aunt says, is a "university for geniuses" hahaha). While she was there she also went to France one year for an exchange program, making her effectively trilingual... No, quadrilingual actually (is there even such a word?). She's been back in Singapore for over a year now and being one of her avid followers, I knew that she was facing troubles readjusting to Singapore. K basically the whole point of this post is cos I saw her featured in an interview in 早报 two Sundays ago (15 July 2012). I don't really know why the interview struck me and although I had trouble grappling with the Chinese (since I don't actively read/write Chinese anymore), I was curious enough to finish the article. Which is quite a feat really, considering how I don't really read the papers and read books anymore (which is terrible). So here, I'm going to translate the article into English just for the record. The Japanese, French and Singaporean's cultures of love vastly differ Air stewardess, celebrity, student, career woman... Few people get to experience so many different roles in one life. Singapore, Japan and France – few people get the chance of having lived in all these countries, much less be able to claim that they have friends or even boyfriends from these places. Sharon Au is only 36 years old, yet she has done all of that. Destiny and one's personality plays a role in determining how our lives turn out. In 1994, she could have gone on to university, yet she chose to become an air stewardess to explore the world; in 2005, she left her successful entertainment career to become a student. Having seen the world, how does she view men and women? How does she view the different roles in society? How does she view family and freedom? Sharon Au (ex-TV artiste, current MediaCorp administrative staff) 1. Japanese, French and Singaporean men – what are their unique qualities? Japanese men are very cool – you'll often see them smoking cigarettes, and they don't really like to talk. In a café, when you see a Japanese couple on a date, you usually see the girl talking. On Valentine's Day, a girl gives a boy a present to express her liking towards him. It is only a month later, under the situation where the boy feels the same way, will he reciprocate and present her with a gift as well. (Side note: this occasion is known as White Day) The French man's romanticism flows in their blood – it's not just part of their culture, it's basically ingrained into their DNA. Their goal in life is to make women happy – they will write poems or songs for you. The Singaporean man is the most sincere of the three cultures, they aren't extreme at all. They're not cool and aloof like the Japanese man, but they aren't passionate and fiery like French men either. 2. What are your reasons for liking Japanese, French or Singaporean men? Every place has it's own type of culture when it comes to love. The Japanese man has got lots of style, but you have to put in continuous effort. They taught me that knowing how to love someone is something very admirable. When I was in France, I was drawn by their culture of love, it affected me really deeply. But the French men are passionate and fiery, they invest their emotions quickly, but these emotions can leave just as quickly too. In juxtaposition, some people feel that Singaporean men aren't stylish and cool enough, and aren't expressive enough. But honestly, Singaporean men are very down-to-earth and they don't have any huge emotional fluctuations. There is no one type that is the best, every type has its own good to savour and bad to undertake. I've experienced the good and bad of all three types before. 3. What happened to your last relationship with your French boyfriend? We were together for three years, and it has ended. The time we spent together in France was sweet. But after I left France, the long distance relationship came along with being unable to interact and meet directly. This took a toll on our relationship, especially when we were feeling emotionally or physically down. This physical absence is something that even technology cannot help salvage. He was from Lyon, France and originally planned to move to Singapore. But after the tsunami in Japan, his parents were especially worried. In their eyes, that equates to the occurrence of such a huge natural disaster in the whole of Asia, so they were insistent on him returning home. Because of circumstantial and personal reasons, in the end we still broke up. 4. Having been back for 1 year and 3 months, how have you been doing in Singapore? Me being unable to resettle and adjust to Singapore – the problem doesn't lie with the place, the problem lies with me. Imagine a bird who has been cooped up in a cage, but it doesn't know it's trapped in a cage, and goes on living in ignorance. One day, you open the cage and release the bird, giving it six years of freedom. After that, you place the bird back into the cage and lock it up. By then, no matter how comfortable the confines of the cage, the bird will still be unable to feel at ease. 5. Air stewardess, celebrity, student, career woman – which role do you love the best? Student. Although I was poor for those 6 years, and even had to work part-time at McDonalds' to earn extra money, but by comparison the freedom it came with made me very happy. After returning, I feel less happy. This has to do with the environment and my identity. When I was in Japan, I often think to myself, No wonder my acting was so bad then, I thought up everything then, my view on life in the past was so narrow. 6. What have you read lately? And what are some insights you've gained? Playwright Michael Chiang gave me a book he bought in New York, "Why be Happy When you Could be Normal", written and autographed by Jeanette Winterson. The title of the book is actually something the author's mother told her. The author is a lesbian, and after her mom found out, she was very shocked. The author told her mother, "I'm very happy, I've come out of the closet, and I'm finally happy!" But the mother, being strongly religious, replied, "Why be happy when you could be normal?" In the end, the author decided to leave her home. Besides the theme of homosexuality, the author writes in detail about her childhood, her thoughts on life, which greatly reflects what I've been thinking as well. When I first saw the title of the book, I thought it was a sign telling me to accept things as they are, but in the end the book was really about the author's pursuit for freedom. 7. If you could be anyone in the world, who would you be? The female owner of a bakery in France. When I was in France, I loved staying in the bakery. People often walk in tired, the weather perhaps very cold outside, but after they've been in the bakery a while you start to see the change in them. They look and pick breads they want, and they might then sit down and happily enjoy their food, or they leave the store happily with their purchase. The owner knows all of the people who walk in, and even knows what bread they want and how they want their bread cut. They will talk while preparing the bread for purchase, and there's a feeling of community, and you sense the history of the place. The bread isn't expensively priced, I suspect the female owner only earns enough to pay her rent. But in Europe, earning money isn't for buying houses or cars – it's solely to lead a happy life, like enabling one to go to the south in summer to suntan. Every single day is an enjoyment, and you don't have to wait till the holidays to seek bliss. It all sounds very surreal, but it is a way of life there. It's hard for Singaporeans to imagine because we don't place importance on these relations anymore. 8. Having been overseas for 6 years, is there anything about returning home that makes you exceptionally happy? Why would I not be happy after returning? What makes me the happiest is being able to visit my mother for a meal whenever I want to. No matter how happy I was overseas, my greatest regret has always been being unable to be with my mother. When my mother fell ill, the fruit grocer living below her made a call to Japan to me and said, "Your mother is having a high fever and she told us not to tell you because you're having exams, but we felt that you should know." At that point in time, I wished so badly to be in Singapore. 9. What is a woman? What is Sharon Au? Women are clever creatures, when they aren't bogged down by the troubles of love. Sharon Au can be happy, but only when she doesn't dwell on the past and doesn't want to take flight. K end of transcribe hahaha |
Making myself write cos I haven't written seriously in a while. |
我很矛盾。 |
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iPhone Screenshots |
you can fall for pretty strangers, and the promises they hold Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same And I dream your dream for you, and now your dream is real How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals? You can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold You can fall for pretty strangers, and the promises they hold You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin Now you just say, "Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know, I used to have a scene with him." Juliet, when we made love you used to cry I said "I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die," And there's a place for us, you know the movie song When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet? I can't do the talk, like the talk on the TV And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be I can't do everything, but I'd do anything for you I can't do anything 'cept be in love with you And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be All I do is keep the beat, the bad company And all I do is kiss you, through the bars of a rhyme Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time Forcing myself to write. So I'm officially not an NP student anymore, and I re-ascertained this fact when I was unable to log into NPConnect with my old NP Student ID and password. Thinking back about the past almost year and half in poly... It's like time has gone by really fast. Isn't it clichéd but true, how time seems to go by faster as we get older? I've been thinking a while about the people who helped me get by in poly. Poly has been boring/tough/fun/interesting, but altogether a rewarding experience. I've been telling people that my only gripe would be that I didn't go to JC to take Literature. But otherwise, my poly experience has been good although incomplete. I've learnt a lot, grew a lot, and changed a lot as a person. I would probably say the same things had I gone to JC but I feel that people change more in poly, since it's a tertiary institute and works differently from JC. Am going to write a series of posts about people who helped me get by in poly and this will be the first! People mentioned are in no particular order, although there are some that I have intentionally left for later posts. Christabel Strangely, Christabel is the first person I'm going to mention and I kind of don't really know why. I guess most people don't know her but Christabel is from DVFX. She's kind of the first real friend I made in poly – we met during FBC 2011 and she was in my sub-tribe. As Day 1 wore on I don't really know how but the both of us just fell together and stuck with each other. We didn't like the other girls cos we thought they were too bitchy and angmoh pai and we couldn't take it, so we just hung out together and bitched about some of them hahaha. Towards the end of the camp we only sort of accepted Sheryl in our group cos we thought she was okay to hang out with. Eventually we started being okay with the others but more time went on and I felt increasingly alienated and strange around everyone else, including Christabel, so I pulled away from my sub-tribe entirely. I also unfollowed Christabel on Twitter probably a few months back cos she always rage-tweets about her fangirl stuff and I found that annoying, especially since she can't see reason and is usually rather irate. I also couldn't stand her constant tweets about love and liking this guy. I eventually felt she was quite childish so I didn't want to hang out with her anymore. I suppose that seems rather mean, but thank you Christabel for the company at the very beginning of my poly life... It really made things a lot easier, having someone there. Fendi What would Spiderman (my FBC 2011 sub-tribe) be without Fendi? He's practically the mascot of our sub-tribe. Without him being so okay with acting gay and hyper, I don't think our sub-tribe would be as bonded as it was. He's a really nice and funny guy. We don't hang much but he's a friendly person. I appreciate the random moments when we do sort of talk because he's always up to hang out and chill and not like, be all dao and quiet (which is what I would probably do HAHA cos I'd feel awkward). I remember at the start of this semester we were at the Atrium for some reason I don't know why and he just took my phone and we (me, him, Sheryl and Adler) started taking photos. He went to post the photos on my Instagram although I have since deleted all of my Instagram photos in a bout of emotional frenzy... But that's another story for another time. Adzreen We don't talk/hang/chill and I don't even know if he remembers me but I remember him because he's one of the best SLs around. Our sub-tribe's camaraderie was, in huge part, due to his efforts. Lately I've heard from Sheryl vaguely about his less-than-great reputation in FMS but he does seem rather friendly. I remember in Year 1 once I tweeted about how I needed an S&W shirt that fits cos mine was humongous and he replied me hahaha. Shawn I was so glad to have Shawn in the sub-tribe cos I thought, like, whoa thank God there's someone seemingly normal in the sub-tribe HAHAHA. It made me feel more re-assured cos back then first getting into FMS was like a huge culture shock. Although we never really spoke that much but it was nice nonetheless to have someone down to earth around cos back then I thought almost everybody else were crazy. Joyce My first friend everrrr (like for real) in FMS! I don't think those in my sub-tribe really count as "first friends" cos I drifted from them after the initial weeks of school. Dear Joyce, when I first met and spoke to you, I thought we were really alike. I was really wary then of everyone around me and after being ditched by Felicia, I was desperate to find a best friend. I thought I could find someone like that in poly and I thought that could be you. I guess we are similar in various ways but not as similar as we thought. We're not close anymore but that's okay. In the past I would get really annoyed with you sometimes cos I thought you were stubborn, uptight and narrow-minded when it came to work sometimes. And you were staunchly Christian and I guess that made you waaaaay more conservative and I have ever been in my life and I think that is the main thing that drove us apart a little. But at the same time, no one can deny how hardworking you are. I'm sorry for annoying you when I appear not as serious about work as you are, or when I kind of "argue" with you whenever we don't agree on something in work. In Year 1 we grouped together for almost all the modules and I'm thankful to have someone as diligent as you are in my teams. While others are griping and kvetching about how inefficient, irresponsible and lazy their group mates are, I should be thankful that our conflicts all stem from the fact that we want to do well. Thank you for listening to my complaints (although I started telling you things less and less cos it's like our minds are wired differently and sometimes you just didn't get it) especially in Year 1 Sem 1 when I was like such a huge, whiny bitch most of the time hahaha. Could never have made it past Year 1 without you :-) That's all for now. Will write more about everyone else soon :-) Labels: Lyrics, People who got me through poly |
Littlest Things |
I was laughing at something |
I went to count how many posts I wrote for the month of June and I realized I only had 10 posts, which comes up to an average of 1 post a day. That is not a very good number and I need to write more. Right now it's a week into July and I don't even have one proper post (the one below does not count) and this is very bad.nail bed |
Skinny Lovewho the hell was I |
hello.
17 years young. I enjoy sleeping.For your stalking pleasure: September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013
skinned bypeanut butter, using a pattern fromstart-static & stocks from Pixeden.