Friday, April 6, 2012
goddamn awful emo ranting post
Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
The Smiths
Good times for a change
See, the luck I've had
Can make a good man
Turn bad
So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time
Haven't had a dream in a long time
See, the life I've had
Can make a good man bad
So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time
A: Talking to you never fails to put me in a bad mood, but technically all is my fault so I can't hate you. Still, I hate you for ruining my day.
B: Talking to you just shows how much we both changed, I don't think we can be good friends the way we were before all those years ago. I'm letting this go, finally putting this down. Thank you for all the good times, they made me so happy and thank you for the bad times too because if not for them I wouldn't be stronger, I wouldn't be who I am today.
C: Talking to you... Oh wait, we don't even talk at all. You were once one of the most important persons in my life and I had thought we were going to be friends forever. I'd thought our friendship would last forever and I'd thought that 20 years down the road we'd still be friends. I guess that wish was short-lived because just 1 year into those 20 years I thought we'd be friends, we stopped being friends. We stopped talking we stopped hanging out we stopped being normal. Now whenever we see each other all our shared memories and all the unspoken words passes between us both, hanging in the air like heat on a humid summer's day. I don't know what to say to you but... I wish you a happy life with B.
D: I had willingly given you a piece of me, and no matter how small, miniscule or seemingly insignificant that piece may be, I hope you know I will never be whole again. To begin with, I wasn't even whole and complete when I first met you, but when I met you... That was when, for the first time in years, I believe, that I felt most put together. I knew I wasn't going to fall apart and break into pieces at the slightest disturbance. I let my guard down (well, most of it, anyway) and amidst my hopes for this to be something real, something tangible... You backed away, but not before taking a piece of me with you. I don't think you even realised what you took from me. Thank you for letting me realise that within me there still is some slither of selflessness, but you know what, you really hurt me. But I will be okay. We're always okay in the end.
E: Hello, you're the bearer of one of the biggest secrets in my life. When I, on that day, finally told you about "it", I felt so relieved because "it" was eating me up inside. All these months I've kept this secret to myself, it's been like having a fishball stuck down your throat and you're hacking and coughing and choking but it won't get out. I felt like I was going to be asphyxiated but thankfully I could breathe again, all thanks to you. I just hope you won't forget that I, too, am your friend and whilst I have been trying to remain understanding in view of all your plights and circumstances... Well I just hope you remember to treat me like the close friend you say I am.
F: These months as the conversations flowed between us, I never expected anything out of all this... But it is, exactly this, that made me realise I should never neglect someone's potential to be a good friend on the basis of first impressions. It is this, exactly, that taught me even more the upsides of having no expectations. With all my previous "best friend"s, like B, for instance, I've always shared some chemistry with them but we were all always very different people. With you, I truly feel like I have found someone who's rather alike to me (or at least that's how I feel, thus far). You and I are not best friends but that doesn't matter. I just want you to know, I am really glad you are my friend. :)
Sorry for this goddamn awful emo ranting post. But I hope you can see it got better at the end, I do feel a lot lighter now. I was supposed to sleep about half an hour ago but I felt too awful so I wrote this up and in the end it took quite a while.Labels: Lyrics
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