Sunday, November 25, 2012
McSpicy
In the midst of studying, but here goes.
I am afraid I will be frivolous forever. I feel stupid. I study and I don't understand things. I study and then I forget things. I wish I was a genius. I guess this means I'm lazy HAHA. I have to work harder.
And when I write too. I wish I could write better.
This holiday I spent a lot of my time sleeping. My dreams are strange –
A couple of days ago I dreamt that I was in Singapore. The sky was dark and it was crying. My phone rang – a call or text, I don't know – and I made my way to Charmaine. (How random.) When I picked her up she was crouched in the corner of a void deck crying. It was as though the weather was mimicking her state. She was wearing a red top, which is strange because her closet seems to be mostly monochromatic. After some cajoling I brought her to my car and drove to a kopitiam. We sat at a table, it was still raining, she had a listless look in her eyes although she wasn't crying anymore. I sat across her, not quite knowing what to say. And then I ordered bak kut teh for us LOL.
“Nick Yeam is an asshole,” as I said this, above us a clap of thunder boomed. Charmaine didn't respond.
“You deserve better,” I said sympathetically but firmly. Jesus everyone thinks she deserves better.
She looked at me straight in the eye for the first time that day. Her eyes were glassy but behind them a ferociousness came through. “But I love him,” her voice broke.
And then I woke up. HAHAHHAHAHAHA
Another dream –
Streetlights lined up on the sidewalks of the street and flickered on as the sky turned dark. The air is humid and I skip out into the streets, the sound of my flipflops clacking as I ran. I am in Bukit Timah.
I have the intention to cross the roads and make my way to KAP Mac to meet Theo and Fibi for supper but it seems like no matter how much I walked the road stretched before me never ceased. I could see KAP before me, from under the flyover and behind the zebra crossing that leads to it. I walk and walk but remain at the same spot. As I start to feel confused and upset, I wake up.
Ureka comes into the room as I wake up and I sigh wistfully about how I had dreamt about Macdonalds, and what I wouldn't give to have a McSpicy right now. And then I deliver a jeremiad (In Singlish, no less) about why our college is so secluded – “Why this place so fucking ulu one. Want to get Macdonalds also don't know have to walk how long downtown. TSK. Omg and got no McSpicy some more omg wtf–”
And then I wake up again, this time for real. As my dream dissipated into the air around me I sit up and find in my tummy a craving for Macdonalds and McSpicy.
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