Sunday, November 4, 2012
don't sit there crooning like a bilious pigeon
Even now, half a day since her boyfriend has left, Hannah is still on her bed crying and mourning his departure -_-
COME ON YOU SEE HIM NEARLY EVERY OTHER WEEK HOW MUCH SEX DO YOU NEED WOMAN.
She sounds so weepy and deferential I swear to God five minutes ago when I looked over at her (she's on her bed I'm at my desk) she was looking through pictures of her boyfriend on her phone. Like, solo shots of him. And earlier in the evening in one of her many calls to him today, she cooed, "I was just looking at your pictures... You look so cute! ... You're so cute!" At this juncture it is apt to quote this part from the first act of Pygmalion:
The Note Taker (explosively): Woman: cease this detestable boohoo-ing instantly; or else seek the shelter of some other place of worship.
The Flower Girl (with feeble defiance): Ive a right to be here if I like, same as you.
The Note Taker: A woman who utters such depressing and disgusting sounds has no right to be anywhere — no right to live. Remember that you are a human being with a soul and the divine gift of articulate speech: that your native language is the language of Shakespear and Milton and The Bible; and dont sit there crooning like a bilious pigeon.
Pygmalion, George Bernard Shaw
In bold are parts that correspond directly with my internal reactions to Hannah's "depressing and disgusting sounds" now.
Just now in the shower the most thought-provoking question of late struck my mind. Why do most men prefer to go for women that are younger than they are, and women for men older than they are? This idea of ageism is driving me mad. Maybe this socially constructed preference of age in relationships is purely instinctual – men want to protect women to assert and affirm their masculinity, while women enjoy being protected.
But then I thought, it cannot be that simple. In fact, biologically, women would always have more to lose than men. From the standpoint of procreation, women have a ticking biological clock and after a certain age they menopause and they can't have children anymore, while men will always be able to procreate throughout their lives should they wish to do so. This makes a woman more liable, because after her biological clock ticks to a stop, her husband can simply replace her with a younger woman if he wants to have more kids. With all this in mind, it would be beneficial for a woman to get an older man, because as he grows older he would be less liable to cheat on her (because of low sex drive lol). A man would not want an older woman because it means he has less time to have kids because his wife has limited years in her life to be able to procreate. Lol but I'm sure nobody thinks about all this when they're considering a prospect for a relationship or marriage, right? We are human beings with emotions and feelings after all.
But suppose a man and woman are both infertile, what then? Very simply, I don't understand WHY the social norm is for a man to marry someone younger and for a woman to marry someone older. I don't understand how this idea was even conceived and developed over time. Where did this begin, how, and why?
If a woman is looking for a man who can best provide for her, certainly the chances are that an older man would be better equipped to do that – being older means he has had more worldly experiences in dealing with people and situations, and typically he would be financially secure too. A man would typically not go for an older woman because it gives off the idea of being "mothered", a threat to his masculinity, which can be quite terribly embarrassing for himself. Oh imagine all the jeers from the bros.
In thinking about heterosexual couples with interesting age differences, two couples came to mind. The first is Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn. For those of you who don't already know, Soon-Yi Previn is Woody Allen's third and (probably) final spouse. The most repulsive thing about this relationship is because it reeks of incest and betrayal.
To keep you up to speed, here is how the story goes: Woody Allen used to be in a relationship with Mia Farrow, they were not married but certainly together. Mia Farrow adopts a bunch of kids throughout her life and in her relationship with Woody Allen, they have one biological son together – Ronan Farrow. Soon-Yi-nough (LOL this pun will make sense later), Mia Farrow realizes that Woody Allen has cheated on her, and has been in a sexual relationship... With one of the kids she has adopted – Soon-Yi.
At this point, Soon-Yi is 20 years old, and Mia Farrow's relationship with Woody Allen has lasted for 12 years. This means that Woody Allen has been in Soon-Yi's life since she was an 8 year old (!), and although he was never her legal stepfather, he was very much a father figure in her life. Which is what makes this all so incestuous. Can you imagine watching someone grow up, and then marrying that person? Technically there is nothing wrong if you're not biologically related, but the idea of it sure seems whacked.
Digressing a little: Ronan Farrow is hilarious. He was apparently a child prodigy and is now working for the Obama administration. Having grown up with Soon-Yi, he obviously sees her as a sister. Earlier this year on Fathers' Day, Ronan Farrow tweeted: "Happy father's day— or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law's day" HAHAHAHA this is one of the funniest things I've encountered in a while.
The age difference between Soon-Yi and Woody Allen is 35 years.
If the idea that it is normal, and good for a man to be attached to a woman younger than he is, then using this measure Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn's relationship would be off the charts. But still, everyone finds this relationship disgusting, if not for its incestuous nature, but the act of betraying – your partner, or your mother – is morally repugnant. But putting aside all that, the age difference between them is too huge, which I suppose gives people the idea that Woody Allen has paedophilic tendencies, like he is preying on her... But now, Soon-Yi Previn is 42 years old and Woody Allen will turn 77 in December, and they are still married. They are both old now, which negates the idea that Woody Allen is a paedophile. Why then, are huge age differences frowned upon?
I still have not come to a conclusion for this. But in any case I really don't mind Soon-Yi Previn and Woody Allen being together because they are both disgusting, hence I'd say they're well-suited for each other. You do NOT cheat on your partner, nor do you bite the hand that feeds you by doling out nude photos of yourself to your adoptive mother's boyfriend!!!!!!
The other couple that came to mind is Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Granted, they're not together anymore but they were together for a considerable number of years, and their relationship was definitely very real. She is older than he is by 16 years and interestingly, I don't think I have heard much dissent about the age difference between the two, apart from all the usual claims of Demi being a cougar and the like. Could it be because she is financially independent, and independent on other terms too? Thinking about it, aside from the hurt from the loss of their relationship, she could actually do very well without Ashton Kutcher. Is that why nobody frowns upon their relationship? Does this mean that for a woman to be seen as "good enough" or "equal" to a man, she has to be financially and socially powerful?
I would like to continue this post but it is getting late, and I am distracted. Hannah has now gone back on the phone with her boyfriend again and has resumed her sorrowful whinging, "I miss you... I'm never gonna hang up... I love you baby, I love you..." Oh shut it and stop crooning like a bilious pigeon.
----------------------------
|
