Monday, September 10, 2012
To Theo:
Wow, Seawall sounds like a fantastic name for your son/daughter (yes, because it's cool enough to be a unisex name)! Let me tell you a little about Seawall, shall I?
So (Hannah) Seawall is about my height, perhaps a little taller, with long blonde hair and a plump figure. Besides running for the class of 2016 senate, Seawall likes to let her hair down in her free time. Literally. She does this by going to parties on Friday and Saturday nights. At these parties, she swings her unbound hair vigorously and takes jello-shots made in the bathroom. She gets drunk on two jello-shots. Her intoxication drives her into a state of wildness and she begins to grinds girls (and boys).
Michelle (my roommate) has demonstrated Seawall's dance style to me and if you wish to replicate it you may do so by following these steps:
Step 1 – Bend over to the front, imagine you're a Japanese giving a bow, only you're overzealous and your bow goes over 90 degrees.
Step 2 – Make sure your feet are flat and stable on the ground.
Step 3 – Jiggle your feet and wiggle your butt about vigorously.
Step 4 – While continuing in this motion, sidle up and grind your shaking ass against innocent bystanders.
And voila! You have now mastered the Seawall Boogie Dance.
On top of this, Seawall also goes around randomly making out with people. In her drunken state she goes up to strangers and in a bid to seduce them she may perform the Seawall Boogie Dance to try and seduce them, sort of like a mating ritual. If she's really on heat (ahem from the alcohol, I mean), she forgoes this step and just grabs a person to make out with. The gender of this person does not matter.
Seawall also amuses us peaceful citizens of Walker Hall by disappearing behind closed doors with random people and emerging the next day, or hours later, with – I am not kidding about this – "a hickey the size of a softball" (in the words of Hannah Russell, my roommate). She piles on makeup to conceal it.
In a vain attempt to rectify her actions, Seawall proceeds to knock on the doors of the guys' rooms in Walker Hall to apologize and say, "What I did was really inappropriate". She also tries to find out from various sources who and how many people she made out with, what exactly she did, and most importantly, who gave her the hugeass hickey. Everyone cites a different person as the one who gave her the hickey – some people even claim it could have been more than one person – and Seawall ends up all confused and somewhat mortified.
Doesn't stop her from partying though. This weekend I'm going to go along, just so I can witness her in action.
In conclusion, I eagerly await the day of Seawall Reyes's arrival into this world. I'm sure he/she will be extremely moved when he/she grow to learn that he/she is the namesake of such a highly inspiring individual.
--
My hall mates are so sweet.
I was having a crappy day and then I began to have cramps. I was squirming about in pain on my bed, trying to distract myself by knitting when Michelle asked me if I wanted dinner. I said no cos I was having cramps so I'm gonna just stay in bed. She asked me if I wanted some Advil and I said, "Does that help?" She nodded in the affirmative and I gladly accepted two. "I don't even know why I'm getting cramps, I don't usually get cramps in Singapore," I grumbled. "Well, some people say it could be the food here that makes it really bad," Michelle explained. Soon after I fell asleep on my bed before the effects of the pills could kick in.
In my semi-unconscious state I could hear the girls (think it was Natasha and don't know who else) running up and down the hall and making a ton of noise. Michelle went out and told them to shut up.
And after a while, Hanna Hebert came in and began talking loudly to Michelle (and Hannah Russell, who came back a while after I fell asleep). Michelle told her to be quiet cos I wasn't feeling well and was resting and Hanna exclaimed, "Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't know she was feeling unwell." They discussed about my cramps and Advil and Hanna retired to her room.
When I woke up and stumbled out of bed, the pain was a little numbed but still there. I grabbed my stuff and headed to the showers. I passed by Hanna's room where the door was open and she cried out, "Oh, Brey-brey (I have no idea how she started to call me this)! Brey-brey!"
I stopped by her door – Seawall and this other girl were also in it, along with Hanna's roommate Emily. Hanna apologized for making noise while I was sleeping. I said, "Oh it's fine, I didn't even hear anything," although the truth was I heard everything HAHAHAHA.
"Do you need some Advil?" Hanna asked, and Emily (who is so sweet) offered some too. "We could pour some into a bottle for you."
I went to take my shower (which took forever cos I like to take long showers) and I guess I really took pretty long cos Hanna came in and checked if I was fine. Maybe they thought I had fainted in the showers from my cramps or something HAHAHA.
I came back to see a small zip-lock bag of Advil pills on the drawer top next to my bed.
----------------------------
|
