Monday, August 20, 2012
Hey Germany
Haven't blogged in ages. The days before I left Singapore were incredibly stressful and spent mostly on packing packing and packing. I felt like I was going to die.
Supposed to be sleeping right now but I can't really sleep so I'm going to write here a bit.
At the moment I'm lying on a bed in a hotel room in Munich, Germany. Tomorrow I will be going back to Frankfurt. The day after I will be heading to NYC and finally, Meadville, Pennsylvania hahaha.
I spent my last 3 days touring various parts of Munich – today I went to Salzburg, Austria.
I haven't had much time to come online – actually I've had quite a considerable amount of time but not enough to write the post I would have liked so here's a really really concise one.
On the airplane to Frankfurt, in the middle of the night when everyone was either trying to sleep or watch their movies, I was caught with this sudden sense of panic. It struck me only then that it's gonna be months before I next see my friends for real. Before, I always thought "It's OK, there's Facebook/Skype/Twitter" and that video calls, the sight of someone on your computer screen, would make up for the lack of physical presence. I don't really know why but it was exactly then, on that plane, that I realized (<-- need to start typing in American English lol) how video calls and messages can never make up for having someone right before you, air the only medium required for their words to travel and reach you and not something else like an internet connection or speakers.
While my dad fell asleep watching his movies and while my sister tried to tank to conquer the jet lag by watching movies half-awake/asleep, I turned on my phone and read through the messages on my phone. As ridiculous as it is with each message it would suddenly feel like something was caught in my throat. Maybe it is very 自讨苦吃, but I'm a sucker for pain. So yeah there I was simultaneously reading my messages, furiously dabbing at my eyes and looking around surreptitiously to make sure my sister and dad weren't looking at me LOL.
It made me realize how emotionally dependent I am on my friends, and how far apart I am from my family.
When we finally, finally got to the hotel in Munich, and after I got the wifi set up and everything I went downstairs to talk to people on my phone. I kept tearing (I didn't cry like sob sob sniff sniff oh God I'm gonna die la), I missed (and still miss) everyone so bad.
And it's ridiculous (that isn't quite the right word but I don't know what to use) how I miss some people more than the others :/ Okay I know it's only natural but still.
I'm sure these people would know who they are cos chances are I have already told them I miss them hahaha I don't run about saying these things to people I'm usually too dao for that /cough
I miss the Path ▲ (think I didn't tell them but here it isssssss I love you guys).
Sheryl said when I get to US and make new friends I'd feel better eventually. I really hope that is true but I'm gonna make sure that doesn't mean I forget the people I miss now cos I don't want to lose them.
Random photo for entertainment – a snippet from my diary LOL wrote this on the day we got to Germany when I waited about an hour on a train platform for my dad and sister.
Thankfully most people in Germany can speak at least a bit of English.
Okay I'll upload photos sometime soon and maybe on another blog where all my other friends can see them too. Shall reserve this blog for more emo and private stuff HAHAHA
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