Sunday, June 3, 2012
rictusempra
I haven't been blogging cos I didn't know what to write about.
Here I am up at nearly 4 AM, I don't think I can claim to be any stranger to dusk and twilight any longer.
The past week flew by in a flurry of events and culminated with the submission of our first Field Assignment for Feature Writing. Wanted to have a mini-celebration (no really, that's just an excuse to pig out) at Hatched but by the time Phoebe and I submitted our assignment and got there, the place was closed >:( at 4.30 PM, I might add, how lazy can they get?
We ended up eating at a random place at NUS, which seems more university-like now that I've actually explored it a little. Took ugly photos at Botanic Gardens (I didn't know NUS and Botanic Gardens were connected) and then I went to town to meet Kaiwen.
Kaiwen wore a black shirt and the red skater skirt she bought the last time we went out together... I can't even remember when that was, maybe before school started this semester?
Met with Kelly (Angel) at NLB and we were supposed to work on our Commiss essay... Which we did. However I gave up after searching for some sources and ended up reading books on literary criticism and metaphors. The air of that whole floor, quiet as the place is, just seems to breathe life into me, somehow. I felt so awake knowing that I was in the presence of so many amazing books, the idea of being in that treasure trove of knowledge invigorated me. But alas, the books were only for reference and cannot be borrowed. Next time if I want to find books to buy or read, I shall return there again.
Lately my emotions have been consuming me and evading me, both at the same time. At moments I find myself overwhelmed and if I stay still, sometimes I swear I can feel my heart throbbing almost rhythmically. It's a puzzling sensation, though not an unpleasant one. At other moments I feel so empty I have to try so hard to dredge up even the slightest bit of feeling, but it is as if I've been wrung dry and nothing comes up. Each state seems to come at the most inappropriate circumstance and my mind is left feeling completely and utterly messed up as a result. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, and then suddenly all the pieces fall into place in front of me, and then just as quickly they all disintegrate into the air again.
Rictusempra.
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