Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Dance
In the segment of my college applications where I have to write shortly about one of my extracurricular activities, I picked dance. I wrote about how when the music turns on, everything else in the world melts away and it's only me, the beat of the music and dance. Throughout the past 8 months I spent dancing on-and-off, I have certainly experienced this many times. But I honestly think I never felt it more than today.
Despite having so many things to do, I still decided to head for dance.
I don't know what came over me but when I got off the bus just now to walk to O School, angst, sadness, fear and loneliness, friends (bad ones) that I know all too well decided to pop me a visit. It really is frustrating when you feel normal one moment and the next, everything seems to melt and pull you under.
I suppose there are a few things I can identify and blame but the worse thing is, all these factors lead back to me. The root of it all was me — if I don't allow these things to affect me then they wouldn't. But I have succumbed to these demons. Again.
The minutes before I stepped into class saw my mood rot even more. I desperately hoped that dancing would lift my spirits. And it did. I think dance has saved me plenty of times, even if only for a while each time. It's like when you're having the worst day ever and you think it couldn't possibly get any worse, but it does. And then someone comes by and offers a word of encouragement, or something that makes you feel better for a while happens. Dance did that for me, plenty of times.
Dancing distracted me from everything that was making me feel bad. When I step into the studio I swear it's like a room of heaven. All my troubles were bounced and thrown out of the door. And all I do is dance (and start feeling how self-conscious because I'm still not a good dancer yet, and get distracted by looking at all the good dancers when I'm supposed to be focusing on myself in the mirror. But that's not the point).
I am presently on the bus now and Josh just texted me to ask how the poster design is going. The poster design which I'm assigned to complete, the one I have hardly even started on. And on top of that I've got Webgra videos (probably 6 per topic, each averaging 7 minutes) to watch for the test tomorrow. I am screwed. Still don't regret going for dance today.
----------------------------
|
