Thursday, December 15, 2011
I just woke up after a near-two hour nap but I don't feel particularly rested at all. Before I went to sleep my mind was in a whirl and I just wanted everything around me to stop for a minute and I had wished for myself to open my eyes feeling a zen sort of calm but no, it didn't happen. The worst thing is, I headed to bed mere minutes after my dinner, which means I am now probably fatter than I was before. My mind still feels swollen and when I didn't drift to consciousness from being asleep – the thoughts inundated my head the moment I was even slightly awake.
I have said before about how this semester has been crazy, how everything has been moving so fast. It still stands true. But today I realised how I couldn't possibly have gotten through this far without many of my classmates and group mates. When tomorrow ends and we go for our term break, I MUST tell them how much I appreciate their unwavering support thus far. Of course there are certain people who don't do much, certain people who are completely irresponsible and uncommitted. Everyone knows who I am talking about because I have been whining and bitching about these people (or maybe just this person) on a frequent basis. Again, I really have to thank my good classmates/group mates for putting up with me.
I had an ominous dream last night. I dreamt that we were having our MedSoc debate and I, unexpectedly, had to rebut against Farzana (everyone from my class would know the significance of this HAHAHA). But I wasn't there while Farzana made her debate speech, so they played a video of her making the speech. In the video, she had this headscarf on, the kind that housewives wear when they're doing housework around the house. She started sweeping off rubbish and food off a table top and recited her debate speech (which was rubbish and seemed to make no sense at all).
And it was strange, like a cutaway in a film, but then suddenly the debate turned into a dance battle and we all started dancing. We had to do a choreography from my Contemp Jazz class. When I mentioned this part to my classmate (can't remember who it was, Joyce or Joshua?), he/she said I must miss dancing too much, because I haven't been dancing since the start of this month.
The ironic thing was, my dream came true, the part about me having to rebut against Farzana. Her speech wasn't rubbish at all and no she did not sweep rubbish off a table top with a broom. I fared badly in my rebuttals today :(
I guess I have to learn how to handle disappointment better. And to stop thinking and analysing so much because sometimes it does me more harm than good. Right now I am truly confused with what is going on and I really don't know what to do. I think it is the first time in my life I have zero idea on what to do next.
Theo and Darren Koh both said the whole situation isn't stupid but I know it is.
After this, I'm guessing we won't be speaking for quite a while.
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