Monday, October 3, 2011
Day 7
Hi! I didn't post yesterday because I woke up late, went for facial and when I got back home I spent the rest of my day training my Swablu/Gardevoir/Kadabra in Pokémon Sapphire. I might post another day's worth of letters to make up for yesterday.
30 DAY POKÉMON CHALLENGE
Day 7 — A Poke-related Photo That Makes You Happy
This is the episode I was referring to that was really touching. After some searching, I managed to find out that this episode is called "Snow Way Out!".
I actually managed to find a photo of Ash with tears in his eyes (it happened a few seconds after this photo) but I couldn't find it when I clicked on the link. I found all of the photos on Google, by the way.
I guess if any photo makes me happy, this would have to be it. I wish I had friends like that I wish I could have Pokémon that would be my friends I wish Pokémon existed LOL.
The next photo is random, just putting it here cos I find it funny.
People who have watched this episode would know what it's about. Ash cross-dressed to try and make his way into the Celadon Gym because he'd offended Erika, the gym leader, and could not go in as himself. Team Rocket gave him the idea of cross-dresing and now they're teaching him how to speak and sound like a girl. This was from the episode "Pokémon Scent-sation!".
30 DAY LETTER CHALLENGE
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
When school started for real, people would ask questions to know one another better. Sometimes there are things you might wanna know that you can't ask right off the bat because they're too personal. So we always wait till we've gotten to know the other person a little bit before asking them the slightly more personal questions.
"Cam," some people have asked some weeks into school (yes people call me Cam or Huien not Sophie anymore hahahahah actually perhaps I should have stuck to Sophie but I changed it cos Fendi kept relating it to the sanitary pad >:( ), "How many ex-boyfriends have you had?"
"Two" was what I told Terry when he asked me this question. "... But the first one wasn't really serious." And then Terry said if it wasn't serious it doesn't count.
I laughed and said, "Okay, one then," thereby obliterating my first boyfriend from my "List of Ex-Boyfriends".
*
People do not usually ask me about my first ex-boyfriend because I'm known for being hung up over the second one, but if you're from the same school and graduating year as I am, chances are you'd know who my first ex-boyfriend is. He shares the same name as a certain country.
Having written so extensively about my second ex-boyfriend, I've decided to write about my first ex-boyfriend in this post instead.
When I say my first ex wasn't serious, I don't mean to say I dated him with the intention to jilt him eventually or anything like that. I really did like him, I liked him on-and-off for nearly a whole year (in Sec 1). The strangest thing was, when he did like me back (in Sec 2), I didn't like him as much anymore. I did still like him, just not as much as I did before.
Still we got together and we eventually fell into the same clique (there were 4 or 5 of us) and soon thereafter I broke up with him.
I cannot remember how it all went but even after we broke up we were still friends. Surely, it was awkward at first but time passed and we became close friends again. I've always felt that we got even closer after we broke up. In a way, I was thankful for the breakup because I don't think we would have been as close as we were if it didn't happen.
What I didn't know was that he still liked me. (I learned about this only a long time after we graduated, can you imagine how long this was?) In Sec 3 when we all split into different classes we swore we would all still stay close. In the whole clique, I always felt closest to him (bah for convenience's sake let's call him S).
I never felt close to the other guy, Junyuan, because he always seemed a little detached from us and it seemed like he was there partly because he was close to S. Joelly and Christine were best friends and when we hung out I felt like the odd one out sometimes. Back then Christine bitched about me sometimes also (if you're reading this, Christine, I know you did and I was really angry but don't worry I'm not angry anymore hahaha) and we would have "Cold War" periods where we didn't speak. S, you were the only one in the whole clique I felt I could trust completely.
Sec 2 year was nearing the end and we were going to face the inevitable: streaming (into different classes, that is). It made me really afraid because I've heard so much from the seniors about how they drifted from their lower-secondary friends just because they got streamed into different classes. So I made S promise to talk to me often in Sec 3 so we would remain close. So he promised me, over MSN. I tried joking about it like it didn't mean much to me but it did mean a lot, a lot to me. I sort of cried a little then, in front of the laptop ._. I remember all this because I blogged about it that day.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
S WRD, on 23rd August 2008 at 12.50am, promised to talk to me a lot next year. Shall he breach the contract, he will be gay.
Hahaha.
I cried because of this.
But only a bit so it's fine.
I DON'T LIKE CHINESE.
Well I... don't know what to say. Bye.
8:18 PM
And if you remember, you blogged about the same thing too, only with my name. But I know you forgot about it. Why? Because we hardly spoke at all the next year.
After I got together with my second ex, S distanced himself from me and we drifted apart. But come on, S, you know I was sad about it because I blogged about us drifting apart. You responded to one of my posts on your blog and I know it cos I SAW it.
We were never close friends again.
But although we drifted apart, you always had a special place in my heart - the place in my heart where my closest friends reside, friends drifted apart or not. When you're close to someone, it's like they have a piece of you, and even if one day they are not around anymore, they will still always have the piece of your heart. All the friends of mine who had this piece — who had their place in the Land of my Best Friends — were the ones I knew I would always love and protect no matter what.
Today, this land no longer exists and you are one of the reasons why.
The Land was established with some basic tenets. One of them was: I would always love and protect the occupants of this place even if we are no longer close. Because I believed that whoever had the ability to make their way into the Land was special and worth holding on to. Unfortunately, you were one of the reasons why this Land is now destroyed.
You are one of the reasons why, because you hurt me. If it makes you feel better though, you might want to know you're not the only one who hurt me though :)
After we graduated, I found out through my own means that S got together with my ex-best friend. She only became my "ex-best friend" for real sometime this year although we were drifting since Sec 3 but before that happened, she got together with S. Against their wishes I found out they got together and at that point in time they were in the stage where they didn't want a lot of people to know about their relationship.
The first thing that made me sad was this: I was one of the people they didn't want to tell. It was only when they realised I knew that they let me know. The second thing: their reaction when they realised I knew.
A mutual friend told me about their reaction... Specifically, S's reaction. S had said something to the effect of how if I knew, the whole world would know too. When I heard that, guess what went through my mind? "What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck." I don't swear a lot but that's really what I thought. True I gossiped a lot in secondary school but I knew you guys didn't want people to know. Guess what? I didn't even tell a single soul, the only people I talked about it with were those I knew already knew about it. So there, screw you.
This made me realise... No matter how you may feel about your friends, if they're treating you like shit when you haven't done a single thing to them, they're not really your closest friends at all.
In early Sec 2 before S and I were even together, Fiona asked me something when she and I were at the bus stop waiting for our bus together. She asked me if I had to pick a guy from our class to marry, who would I pick? I chose you. She asked me, why not Yeowyong or Aaron or Junyuan or whoever? I said, "Because S is really nice and responsible." I didn't say that just because I liked you then, but because I know you really are like that. If I had to pick again now I would still pick you. But...
It does not matter to me now, however nice and responsible you are. It's useless caring for a person who doesn't give a damn about you. Thank you for making me realise that.
Ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend, hope you enjoy your lives together. <<< this is an Emoji by the way I'm testing it out to see if it'll appear on the post
/end of super long post
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