Friday, October 7, 2011
Day 12
30 DAY POKÉMON CHALLENGE
Day 12 — Whatever Tickles Your Fancy
Whatever tickles my fancy? Gonna skip this day's challenge, that's what I fancy. Hahaha
30 DAY LETTER CHALLENGE
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Being a highly sensitive person has a lot of downsides. I've got this book titled "The Highly Sensitive Person" (which, by the way, I have yet to finish) which talks about how to accept being a highly sensitive person, and the perks of it as well.
It's through reading this book that I realised I am not a highly sensitive person. I am a rather sensitive person. So if a highly sensitive person scores 10 on the scale of sensitivity, I'd probably be a 7 or 8.
It means I get overwhelmed very easily. The strangest things make my eyes fill up and having too many stimulants tire me out. I cannot sleep if there is a certain amount of light, even when I slept in school last time I'd always position my arms and head such that my eyes will be exposed to as little light as possible. It also means I react to small occurrences very strongly/emotionally.
I'm sure we've all used the word "hate" all-too-casually ("Omg I hate Chem") but when it comes down to it, I think most people don't actually hate a person. It's a huge emotional investment that hardly brings any rewards. Maintaining a hatred is exhausting.
But pain, definitely. I feel it all too easily, way too easily.
Honestly, if there's anyone who caused me the most pain......... It has got to be me, myself and I. Why? Because no one can let you feel anything unless you let them. Isn't it true?
Often I used to get sad about things easily, but what's even worse is I let myself wallow around in sadness, self-pity and torment. Because hiding in a corner licking your own wounds, is easier than standing up and having courage to face reality. In the face of adversity, I frequently skedaddled. It takes me a long time to store up courage (or wait till I've licked my own wounds too much), just like how a grass Pokémon takes one turn to store sunlight for the Solarbeam attack. Only I take maybe too many turns.
I used to say things like... "I don't think I'm deserving of happiness. (Sounds emo but I don't care)"
But now I know I gotta be strong. I have to start believing in myself and stop hurting myself all the time. If you treat yourself terribly, how do you expect others to treat you well? I don't wanna be so dependent on other people and the way they treat me. The root of your happiness shouldn't always be in the things other people do for you. We all ought to start with ourselves.
Have to be strong.
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